MUMBAI: I used to be a proud advocate of Bigg Boss, championing it as the epitome of human emotions and behaviour. I’d write blogs and tell anyone who would listen that it was a grand experiment in teamwork, polarization, resource mobilisation, negotiation, storytelling and the delicate dance between truth and lies that could turn tides faster than you could drop your popcorn. Some seasons were not to my liking, and some taught me a few lessons. I even predicted the end of Bigg Boss and called it a deadly social experiment that the HR department can copy for an offsite. I auditioned for the show one fateful day and am happy that I did not make the cut. Bigg Boss needs a reality check. 

It was, of course, before Vermajee—my dear friend, soul mentor, and consultant in all non-working things in life said. It opened my eyes to the actual sincerity of it all. His wisdom, delivered with the gravity of a man who had mastered the art of sidestepping unnecessary drama, made me see Bigg Boss in another shadow. 

Let’s face it. When it comes to quality television, nothing quite compares to the highbrow, intellectual oasis that is Bigg Boss. Because who wouldn’t want to watch a group of people—handpicked for their impressive lack of emotional regulation—battle it out in an elaborate social experiment that makes a corn maze for mice seem like the height of human achievement? 

Allow me to walk you through why this epic display of “reality” deserves your full attention. Grab some popcorn, lean back, and marvel at this masterpiece's sheer brilliance. The moment of truth is here. Here's what Vermajee said. Was that not a big thumping whack on my head? 

No One Ever Doubted The Real Test Of Human Behaviour

Have you ever wondered how people behave when locked in a house, deprived of dignity, and prompted by whispering producers? Vermajee insists that Bigg Boss provides that valuable insight which you never asked for. It's like watching a Roman gladiator match, except the contestants are armed with petty insults and inflatable egos instead of swords. And they have a constraint- they cannot get physical- I mean in terms of fights. Would you not agree that it is truly an anthropologist's dream and for the audience, a release from the pressure cooker called life? 

The whole show is an arena where emotionally volatile individuals are crammed together in a space smaller than your average Ikea display room, forced to coexist like caged animals. You’ve got your classic tropes: the guy who can’t control his temper, the girl who cries at the drop of a hat, a person still trying to find the pronoun to respond to, a couple deeply in love with but with controversial background, someone who is trying to repurpose life and the one who’s just there to add to the furniture count. You’ll be left asking the existential question: “Is this what Darwin meant by the survival of the fittest?” 

Not The Biggboss But The Scriptwriter: Your Unseen Puppet Master 

You might think the contestants or the voting audiences are driving the drama, but don't be fooled. The producers of Bigg Boss are like mischievous masters tossing lightning bolts from the heavens, causing chaos and ensuring the drama never stops. The participants aren’t just navigating their emotions but also carefully following a meticulously crafted script that nudges them towards confrontations with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer and sometimes like a jeweller.

Watch closely, and you’ll see the magic unfold: contestants are guided with cryptic “challenges” that are about as natural as a sitcom laugh track. And when you are deceived into thinking they might be showing the slightest hint of genuine emotion, the production team jumps in to stir the pot. Because who wants emotional growth or understanding when you could have a screaming match over a pillow? Or, better still, a monologue of abuses and misunderstanding longer than the one you read in Ayan Rand’s novel. 

A Wardrobe Malfunction Waiting to Happen 

Now, let’s talk about the visual feast Bigg Boss offers. Have you ever wondered why the contestants look like they stepped out of a trendy but slightly trashy catalogue? That’s because they didn’t even pick their clothes. That’s right, they are dressed by designers who seem to be playing a prank on them. Clothes too tight, too loud, or too inappropriate for any real-life scenario—it’s fashion with the subtlety of a fireworks display. 
Because, after all, nothing says “real human experience,” like a grown man in a neon tank top and sequined shorts screaming about loyalty. 

Fights? They're Gloriously Predictable 

If you're looking for intellectual conversations or meaningful discussions, what are you doing here? Bigg Boss is all about the fights, and boy, do they deliver. The drama unfolds faster than you can shout "TRP”. Contestants hurl insults, food, and sometimes furniture at each other, like toddlers in an adult playground. 
And the best part? These aren’t just spontaneous moments of anger. Oh no. These are curated, finely tuned explosions of rage, timed perfectly to break the monotony of everyone sitting around a couch wondering how they got into this mess in the first place. It’s like Fight Club, but without any subtlety, depth, or Brad Pitt. And what more do you think the producers can cram in a 90-minute daily update? What do you think the contestants do the rest of the day- other than when the cue says- Camera- sound- fights? 

The Voting – A Systematic Scam

Ah, the thrill of voting! You, the audience, have the privilege of participating in a system that isn’t rigged. Week after week, you send in your votes, believing your voice truly matters. This misguided perception is truly adorable, like the playschool girl dancing to Chikani Chameli. Because let’s get real: the producers have already decided who stays and who is evicted with honourable escape routes. They’ve got their favourites—those who guarantee more drama, more sponsorship deals, are promised a more extended stay or are material for the follow-up reality shows. 

You’re not voting for who you want to stay; you’re voting to keep the illusion alive. Have you ever wondered how Bigg Boss never reveals the vote percentages? Have you ever demanded? Are you satisfied with the lollipop of one of the audit firms endorsing the results? Don’t even try going that path. Bigg Boss is less democracy and more dictatorship with a touch of game show order. 

The Host: Bias? What Bias? 

Then there’s the host, the impartial face of the show. Or at least, he would be unbiased if they weren’t so clearly spoon-fed instructions to keep the show’s prized troublemakers in the game. Watch as the host subtly (or not-so-subtly) guides conversations, drops hints, and occasionally throws shade at the contestants they’ve been told to hate. It’s like watching a chess game, except one side doesn’t know they’re being played. The host is also genuinely human and bias is a human trait. 

The Reality Show Contestant Manufacturing Line

When it’s all said and done, when the “winner” emerges, the rest of the contestants move on to their next gig in the reality show carousel. Today’s Bigg Boss loser is tomorrow’s Khatron Ke khiladi contestant. Their career? A carefully curated series of reality show appearances, each more absurd than the last. And you’ll watch them all because, let’s be honest, there’s no escaping the pull of this car-crash television. 

NET NET - Final Thoughts on BIGG BOSS (Not That You Need Them) 

So, why should you watch Bigg Boss 18? Because it’s a masterclass in what happens when human dignity is tossed out the window for entertainment. It’s the TV equivalent of a sugar rush—quick, addictive, and utterly devoid of nutritional value. But hey, at least you can say you witnessed the unravelling of the human spirit in high definition. 

And who knows? You might feel better about your own life in the process. Now go and watch Bigg Boss 18 and tell me if Vermajee is right and if it made you feel better. Seeing the participants of the Bigg Boss family foundering and falling apart like straws on the bar counter may even help create stronger family bonds. 

DISCLAIMER. Even Vermajee’s more-than-accurate tutorials aimed at brainwashing an ardent BiggBoss fan have limited appeal. I will be glued to the initial weeks of Bigg Boss18, and if the contestants ignite my curiosity, I will travel with them on the unpredictable journey.

(The views expressed in this comment piece are the author’s and the author's alone. Indiantelevision.com does not endorse them. We are open to contrarian views to Sanjeev Kotnala’s and will happily carry them. There’s only one requirement: the write ups should be written coherently and well)